Given how tough life can be these days, we could all use a reason to smile. Maybe it’s the ongoing coronavirus pandemic has you feeling depressed, or you find recent current events frustrating. Family drama can certainly affect our mood, as can toxic friendships or romantic relationships. Sometimes, we just need a good laugh to break us out of a funk and hit the reset button!
When you need to lighten the mood, a good bad joke might do the trick, or a cheesy one-liner can make you crack a smile. But silly poems are another way to instantly make you grin from ear to ear! We’ve put together a list of 25 funny poems to help brighten up your day that is nowhere near as formal and serious as the conventional poetry you read in your college literature course! These whimsical odes to pets, rhyming verses about human nature and poetry about food are guaranteed to make you snicker, snigger, hoot and chuckle.
What are you waiting for? (Besides reading these silly limericks!) Read on and share these 25 funny poems with your friends who might need a good laugh today as much as you do!
25 Funny Poems
1. “Missing”
by Anne Scott
I’ve hunted near, I’ve hunted far
I even looked inside my car.
I’ve lost my glasses, I’m in need,
To have them now so I can read.
I loudly swear and I curse
Did I leave them in my purse?
Are they behind the sofa, under the bed?
Oh there they are—on my head!
2. “Messy Room”
by Shel Silverstein
Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
His underwear is hanging on the lamp.
His raincoat is there in the overstuffed chair,
And the chair is becoming quite mucky and damp.
His workbook is wedged in the window,
His sweater’s been thrown on the floor.
His scarf and one ski are beneath the TV,
And his pants have been carelessly hung on the door.
His books are all jammed in the closet,
His vest has been left in the hall.
A lizard named Ed is asleep in his bed,
And his smelly old sock has been stuck to the wall.
Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
Donald or Robert or Willie or—
Huh? You say it’s mine? Oh, dear,
I knew it looked familiar!
3. “My One-Eyed Love”
by Andrew Jefferson
I’ve fallen in love—I don’t know why
I’ve fallen in love with a girl with one eye.
I knew from the start. It was plain to see
That this wonderful girl had an eye out for me
She’s charming and witty and jolly and jocular
Not what you’d expect from a girl who’s monocular.
Of eyes—at the moment—she hasn’t full quota
But that doesn’t change things for me one iota.
It must be quite difficult if you’re bereft.
If your left eye is gone and your right eye is left.
But she’s made up her mind. She’s made her decision.
She can see it quite clearly in 10/20 vision.
She’ll not leave me waiting, not left in the lurch
If she looks slightly sideways she’ll see me in church.
I’ll marry my true love who’s gentle and kind.
And thus prove to everyone that loves not quite blind.
4. “Doggy Heaven”
by Larry Huggins
All doggies go to heaven (or so I’ve been told).
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight?
Why, because there’s not a single cat in sight!
5. “Our Imperfect Dog”
by Cynthia C. Naspinksi
We love our dog with all our hearts,
But not so much her stinky farts.
Her doggy breath is less than fresh,
Yet we hug her nonetheless.
From barking she will not refrain.
The house and yard are her domain.
Park on the street or walk on past,
And you will likely cop a blast.
Meter readers, couriers,
Serve to make her furious.
Possums, lizards, neighbour’s cat,
Will not be shown the welcome mat.
In the name of crime prevention,
Airspace gets the same attention.
We feel safe, it must be said,
From birds that dare fly overhead.
She wages war with the lawn mower,
Outdoor sweeper and leaf blower.
And switching on the vacuum cleaner
Won’t bring out her best demeanour.
This causes some embarrassment,
This doggy form of harassment,
But she does provide protection,
And for that we feel affection.
Once introductions make the rounds,
Her friendliness, it knows no bounds.
Though not all guests are fully rapt
With thirty kilos on their lap.
Should you leave your nice warm chair,
On your return you’ll find her there.
And when she’s urged to please vacate,
She’ll turn into a limp, dead weight.
To baths she has a strong aversion,
Desperate to avoid immersion.
Yet she’ll display her dive technique
In any muddy pond or creek!
We give her scratches, make her smile.
Give an inch, she’ll take a mile.
Stop and she’ll demand still more,
Prodding you with paw and claw.
“She’s got character!” we all say.
At times it’s just a nicer way
Of saying she’s our problem child,
Kinda crazy, kinda wild.
For all her faults we love her dearly
And in turn she loves us clearly.
She’s our funny, gorgeous girl.
We wouldn’t trade for all the world.
6. “The Life of a Cupcake”
by Shelby Greer
They put me in the oven to bake.
Me, a deprived and miserable cake.
Feeling the heat, I started to bubble.
Watching the others, I knew I was in trouble.
They opened the door and I started my life.
Frosting me with a silver knife,
Decorating me with candy jewels.
The rest of my batch looked like fools.
Lifting me up, she took off my wrapper.
Feeling the breeze, I wanted to slap her.
Opening her mouth with shiny teeth inside,
This was the day this cupcake died.
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7. “Yes! No!”
by Joanna Fuchs
My turn signal wasn’t working,
So I asked for help from a friend.
“Stand behind the car,” I said.
“Let’s get this problem to end.”
“When I turn the signal on,
If it’s working, let me know.”
I hit the blinker and then I heard:
“Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! No!”
8. “Tinkle, Tinkle, Little Car”
by Cecilia L. Goodbody
Tinkle, Tinkle little car
How I wonder what you are.
Leaking oil every day
Having it your own way.
Going up hills real slow
I don’t want you any mo’.
Tinkle, Tinkle little car
Boy, what a lemon you are.
9. “My Shadow”
by Robert Lewis Stevenson
I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me,
And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.
He is very, very like me from the heels up to the head;
And I see him jump before me when I jump into my bed.
The funniest things about him is the way he likes to grow—
Not at all like proper children, which is always very slow;
For he sometimes shoots up taller like an India rubber ball,
And he sometimes gets so little that there’s none of him at all.
He hasn’t got a notion of how children ought to play,
And can only make a fool of me in every sort of way.
He stays so close beside me, he’s a coward you can see;
I’d think shame to stick to nursie as that shadow sticks to me!
One morning, very early, before the sun was up,
I rose and found the shining dew on every buttercup;
But my lazy little shadow, like an arrant sleepy-head,
Had stayed at home behind me and was fast asleep in bed.
10. “I Ate a Chili Pepper”
by Barbara Vance
I ate a chili pepper
One a lunch-time dare;
Sandy said I’d burn my mouth,
But I didn’t care.
I ate that chili pepper—
Left not a seed to waste—
And won that truly silly bet,
But lost my sense of taste.
11. “Funny Young Fellow”
by Anonymous
A funny young fellow named Perkins
Was terribly fond of small gherkins.
One day after tea
He ate ninety-three
And pickled his internal workings.
12. “Snap, Crackle, Pop”
by Catherine Pulsifer
I feel like snap, crackle, pop
I wish my age would just stop.
(scroll to keep reading)
I bend down and my knees do snap
Makes me feel like my legs will flap
Then my arthritis makes me crackle
I wonder what next I can tackle
And if I turn too fast I hear “pop”
My neck makes this noise like an old mop.
But let me tell you it’s okay
A snap, a crackle, a pop, lets me know I am not decay
There is still some life in these old bones
I won’t waste it with complaints and groans
And I am not going to shrivel up and die
If someone asks my age I will just lie!
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13. “The People Upstairs”
by Ogden Nash
The people upstairs all practise ballet
Their living room is a bowling alley
Their bedroom is full of conducted tours.
Their radio is louder than yours,
They celebrate week-ends all the week.
When they take a shower, your ceilings leak.
They try to get their parties to mix
By supplying their guests with Pogo sticks,
And when their fun at last abates,
They go to the bathroom on roller skates.
I might love the people upstairs more
If only they lived on another floor.
14. “Granny”
by Spike Milligan
Through every nook and every cranny
The wind blew in on poor old Granny
Around her knees, into each ear
(And up nose as well, I fear)
All through the night the wind grew worse
It nearly made the vicar curse
The top had fallen off the steeple
Just missing him (and other people)
It blew on man, it blew on beast
It blew on nun, it blew on priest
It blew the wig off Auntie Fanny—
But most of all, it blew on Granny!
15. “Dessert Last”
by Julie Hebert
Tell me what you think,
About dessert coming last.
Once we’ve eaten such a big course,
There’s no room for dessert’s extra mass.
Dessert is the favourite of all meals,
The one we all look forward to.
So yummy and mouth watering,
I can’t bear to miss out on this too.
In life there are things that can’t be done,
Or have to be put on hold.
Sometimes dessert is just like that,
Disappointment and feeling uncontrolled.
But it doesn’t have to be like that.
Missing out on something good is the worst.
We all know life is too short,
So let’s eat our dessert first!
16. “Belly Button Magic”
by Richard Leavesley
Oh my beloved belly button.
The squidgy ring in my midriff mutton.
Your mystery is such tricky stuff:
Why are you so full of fluff?
17. “Have You Ever Seen”
by Anonymous
Have you ever seen a sheet on a river bed?
Or a single hair from a hammer’s head?
Has the foot of a mountain any toes?
And is there a pair of garden hose?
Does the needle ever wink its eye?
Why doesn’t the wing of a building fly?
Can you tickle the ribs of a parasol?
Or open the trunk of a tree at all?
Are the teeth of a rake ever going to bite?
Have the hands of a clock any left or right?
Can the garden plot be deep and dark?
And what is the sound of the birch’s bark?
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18. “Why Man is Bald”
by David V. Bush
Why man is bald has baffled him
For ages—many years—
And it has caused much querying
And sighs, even to tears.
Why he is bald? I know the why
And later will relate
The reason he is minus hair
On top of his bald pate.
It’s not this here heredity,
Nor dandruff nor disease,
Because a hat band is too tight;
Tight scalp—no none of these.
A man is bald, I know the why,
And here I will declare,
He’s bald because, he’s bald because,
He’s minus of some hair.
19. “Eletelephony”
by Laura Elizabeth Richards
Once there was an elephant,
Who tried to use the telephant—
No! No! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephone—
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now I’ve got it right.)
Howe’er it was, he got his trunk
Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telephee—
(I fear I’d better drop the song
Of elephop and telephong!)
20. “Do You Carrot All For Me?”
by Anonymous
Do you carrot all for me?
My heart beets for you,
With your turnip nose
And your radish face,
You are a peach.
If we cantaloupe,
Lettuce marry:
Weed make a swell pear.
21. “My Doggy Ate My Essay”
by Darren Sardelli
My doggy ate my essay.
He picked up all my mail.
He cleaned my dirty closet
and dusted with his tail.
He straightened out my posters
and swept my wooden floor.
My parents almost fainted
when he fixed my bedroom door.
I did not try to stop him.
He made my windows shine.
My room looked like a palace,
and my dresser smelled like pine.
He fluffed up every pillow.
He folded all my clothes.
He even cleaned my fish tank
with a toothbrush and a hose.
I thought it was amazing
to see him use a broom.
I’m glad he ate my essay
on “How to Clean My Room.”
22. “Be Glad Your Nose is On Your Face”
by Jack Prelutsky
Be glad your nose is on your face,
not pasted on some other place,
for if it were where it is not,
you might dislike your nose a lot.
Imagine if your precious nose
were sandwiched in between your toes,
that clearly would not be a treat,
for you’d be forced to smell your feet.
Your nose would be a source of dread
were it attached atop your head,
it soon would drive you to despair,
forever tickled by your hair.
Within your ear, your nose would be
an absolute catastrophe,
for when you were obliged to sneeze,
your brain would rattle from the breeze.
Your nose, instead, through thick and thin,
remains between your eyes and chin,
not pasted on some other place—
be glad your nose is on your face!
23. “My Feet”
by Gelett Burgess
My feet, they haul me Round the House,
They Hoist me up the Stairs;
I only have to Steer them and
They Ride me Everywheres.
24. “Home Alone”
by Innarenko
My family’s gone; there’s no one home.
It’s only me who’s home alone.
I shouldn’t hear a single squeak.
There shouldn’t even be a creak,
So what’s that thumping that I hear?
It must mean one thing: death is near.
“You’re an adult, you’ll be just fine.”
I tell myself as I dial “nine”…
Was that a knock upon the door?
My heart beats faster than before
I know it’s closed; I’ve checked the lock.
At least my killer knows to knock?
I cannot sleep, though I’m in bed.
I’ve made amends with God instead.
If He decides that it’s my time,
Then this will be my very last rhyme.
I hear a bang and then a break.
My head shoots up; there’s no mistake!
I turn my music volume high
So I won’t hear the way I die.
I run upstairs, desk lamp in hand.
Over my head, ready to land,
And right before it did just that.
I remembered—I have a cat.
24. “Not Smart Enough For a Smart Phone”
by Nandita Shailesh Shanbhag
My son gifted me a phone, said it was very smart.
He said it would ease my life, that it was a new start.
Connect to internet, search for all you want to know.
No need for TV; on it, watch your favorite show.
It’s time to throw out your ancient alarm clock.
You can shop for anything, from a ship to a sock.
You can find every address with the hi-tech map.
You can get rid of the wrinkles on your photo with an app.
You can pay your bills online with a single click.
You can order a meal, with just a finger-flick.
Now you can chat and tweet from your armchair.
Photos of your grandkids you can see and share.
You have the world at your fingertips now, said he,
But I struggle to make a simple call, Stupid Old Me!
I wanted to send a message to my oldest friend.
For dear, I typed dead and then pressed send.
I tried to watch a movie, but it made my eyes spin.
How to see those mini-figures on a tiny screen.
I tried to use the calculator; it took me an hour to find.
I could have added up the numbers faster in my mind.
Things get opened and switched on without my will.
I break into a sweat at the thought of my data bill.
Stop sending me “Good day texts” for goodness sake.
Those pings and rings give me a blasting headache.
So, for others, a smart phone may be trendy and hot.
For me, it’s useless; as it’s smart, but I am not.
Next, keep on laughing by reading these 101 puns.
